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How can I be this tired? Barely a full day of induction and I am exhausted. The first early start in too long, and a massive reality check.
When I was a medical student I couldn't wait to get stuck in. I used to go to the emergency department at 2am and stay there until I was told to leave because I loved it so much.
I never felt tired because I was always genuinely so happy to be there.
Something tells me working life might be a bit different, and if I take that attitude, I might not survive for long.
From what I have gathered, being a good foundation doctor 1 is about being organised and, crucially, knowing when to ask for help.
The enthusiasm that I had as a student has temporarily been replaced by fear.
Today, I was shown the ward that I would be working on and I felt sick. I had tachycardia and I could feel my face going red. Oh my god. This is real. I will be the doctor. I don't know why I never thought of it like that before.
It's not that I'm not excited or happy. Don't get me wrong. I have worked hard for this moment, but now that it's here, I feel like I can't enjoy it, just yet, because I am so scared about doing something wrong.
Do no harm. Rule number one. And my single biggest aim. I don't think any other thing will stress me out as much as this idea. The fact that accidentally I may do something that can harm someone is terrifying.
I think I am in the majority. Among my colleagues — such a nice bunch — I am hearing talk of ‘I don't want to mess up’ rather than ‘I'm going to smash it’.
So many years of medical school and that's how we feel.
My family, non-medical, are all very supportive. To them, having recently watched me collect my degree a few days ago, it's all confirmed. Salma is a doctor. She knows what she is doing.
To me, I am still the same I was weeks ago. When I was a medical student who had passed finals who wasn't officially a doctor.
In my whole life, never have two letters ever filled me with such a sense of happiness and fear. DR.
I only hope that shadowing helps allay some of my fears.
Get a grip! Get on with it, you are a professional, IF you have been properly trained(hopefully, Medical Schools have been dumbed down, emasculated & training savagely reduced since I trained at a fine & famous London training Hospital in the 1960's). You are young, resilient & hopefully sensible about your personal life, sleep & eating habits. In my first two pre-reg jobs & subsequent SHO, registrar & SR jobs 90 to 100 hour stints covering 3 or 4 Nightingale wards or an ITU or Casualty were not at all uncommon, 60-80 hr. Weeks were the norm. Because of great cove & camaraderie from middle grade staff, nurses & consultants we survived,as did most of the patients we looked after.
Remember to talk to, rely on help from medical contemporaries, help them, talk, cry, commiserate, & cuddle; when appropriate; & remember that we are humans , not magicians , & we all make mistakes from time to time. We all sometimes felt scared when thrown into a new or difficult situation. It's NORMAL.
Primum non nocere, a wonderful adage, & a fine aspiration, but don't let it scare you, do your best, enjoy the good & rewarding bits, reflect on & learn from the bad & sad bits.
Like the great majority of your contemporaries & predecessors you will succeed & become a good, effective & well respected doctor. Chin up & Good Luck
First of all congratulations
Secondly you already have the most important quality of a good doctor- self awareness. That 'fear' you have is the strongest tool in avoiding mistakes so learn to harness it.
The dangerous doctors are the ones who think they know it all or think they have to pretend to know it all.
One word of advice- dont get put off by more senior doctors not wanting to take referrals from a junior- stand by your gut feeling and stick to your guns.
Fy1 is the best possible grade to start work as. You are not expected to do miracles. Senior nurses are your best guides, they are always around and easily approachable. Take a good history, do what you have learnt in your med school, be sympathetic to your patients, chase day to day referrals and investigations. Learn to be an effective team member and enjoy all moments of surprises, happiness and rewards of your hard work. You may not notice it, but after doing this over a year you will have a significantly higher level of comfort and confidence in dealing with day to day tasks. Just remember that you are part of a team and not alone so work as team. Ask, ask and ask, read about treatments your patients are on. Do reflections and learn from it. Good luck.
First of all many congratulations. I think we have all (or most of us) felt similar fears when about to start a new post especially in an unfamiliar setting. You obviously have a lot of insight which will be a great strength to you. Please ask for help - whenever you feel uncertain - from nurses, doctors and other members of the healthcare team. Do not be afraid to ask when out of your depth, and remember it is the consultant who takes the final responsibility for the patient under his or her care. So if in doubt, phone up and ask advice. Also, do not be afraid to say to a senior doctor that they need to come and see the patient for you. The strongest feeling you have is that you will know when you are out of your depth.
You will gain strength and confidence as you go along, and at the end of the job you will realise just how much you have learned from your experiences.
So all the very best. I hope it works out well for you.