As a woman with multiple chronic health conditions, you get used to feeling vulnerable around healthcare professionals. It becomes a normal part of your life to talk about your period or showing parts of your body to doctors you met for the first time five minutes ago.
However, never have I felt more exposed than when a doctor turned to me and said, ‘do you have a boyfriend?’ As a younger teenager I would just shake my head and say no. I didn’t, and my family were there so I doubt I would say yes even if I did.
As I got older this question – and comments about making sure I didn’t get pregnant on my medication – made me feel ickier and ickier. I fully understand the reason for the questions from a safeguarding and health perspective. However, as a young person who was starting to figure out that she wasn’t straight, it was a difficult question to answer.
The transition to adult services is a difficult time for any patient. You’re having to become more independent and make more decisions about your healthcare while also dealing with the stress of exams and thinking about moving away from home. It was during this time when a nurse doing my observations and checking me in for the first time I was asked ‘do you have a partner? Boyfriend, girlfriend?’
This may seem like such a small change to the questions I had been asked before but being able to say ‘No, I don’t have a girlfriend’ meant the absolute world. However, young people won’t always feel able to answer a more inclusive question truthfully.
They may not have thought about their sexuality, or they may not feel comfortable speaking about it to other people in an environment where their family is present. But please still ask. It can make a world of difference to the person in front of you and improve the doctor-patient relationship.
Growing up, I was looked after by multiple queer-presenting healthcare professionals. I understand why as a professional it might not be appropriate to speak about your personal life especially when your patient is under 18 – queer or not. However, knowing I had people looking after me who knew what it was like not to fit in provided a great deal of comfort.
It also meant that when for medical reasons I needed to share my sexuality and relationship status I knew I wouldn’t be met with shock or comments – something that sadly happens in other cases.
What difference can a badge make? This is the question asked repeatedly when the NHS rainbow badge was launched in 2019. Sure, a badge in itself cannot improve the care LGBTQ+ patients receive. However, the training and pledge around the badge can make a real difference.
As a patient, seeing that badge meant that the healthcare professional wouldn’t assume your sexuality or gender and had some understanding of the challenges LGBTQ+ patients face.
This scheme sadly ended in 2024 due to a lack of funding. However, to this day if I see a healthcare professional wearing a rainbow badge, I breathe a sigh of relief that they know all the reasons accessing healthcare can be more anxiety-inducing for LGBTQ+ patients.
It’s important to acknowledge my privilege as a cisgender, feminine-presenting woman. At a time when transgender young people are being denied healthcare, the rates of trans young people dying by suicide are increasing and transgender people of all ages are experiencing harassment and discrimination at every level, badges and flags feel pretty pointless.
Now more than ever, LGB people and allies must continue to advocate for trans, queer and non-binary people to receive fair and equitable access to healthcare. Without it, poor mental health, suicide rates and poor health outcomes will sadly continue to increase.
Emma Beeden (she/her) is co-chair of the BMA patient liaison group